That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

How to Fake Consumer Confidence

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U.S. consumer confidence fell to a 28-year low in May, a survey showed on Friday, as soaring prices for food and fuel soured sentiment and pushed long-term inflation expectations to the highest in more than a decade.  This could have a troubling impact on the economy as uncertain consumers do not spend. In the interest of helping to increase consumer confidence I offer the following tips:

  1. When you are alone let out a really big scream before heading out to shop
  2. Take a deep breath before heading out to shop 
  3. Spash cold water on your face or put a cool cloth on your neck before heading out to shop
  4. Take another deep breath then get shopping
  5. Go face the store or purchase you fear.
  6. Smile. Smile a lot as you’re shopping.
  7. Be polite and pay attention to everything that salespeople are saying. Every salesperson loves a listener.
  8. Nod a lot and smile some more while shopping 
  9. Make brief comments, if your voice is shaky. Use cashiers’ names when speaking to them.  They will often wear nametags to make this easy.
  10. Ask questions or seek clarification (even if you really do understand what the salesperson means), but be careful not to come across as someone who isn’t listening.
  11. Follow the sales pitch and do not take adversarial positions even if you disagree with what is being said.
  12. Go to the washroom regularly for hand sweat checks and to put cool clots on your neck while shopping. 
  13. Keep smiling as you walk home with your new purchases!
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Written by thatsrightnate

June 1, 2008 at 4:40 pm

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