That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

Are You There God? It’s Me Nate

with 14 comments

godnateHi God,

It’s me Nate.  It’s been a couple of months since we talked.  First, I wanted to let you know I love what you did with the Cubs this year.  I mean, the whole cellar dweller thing had been done.  Letting them think that they may win it this year was a nice twist.  I’ve been a little concerned about you lately.

Back in the election, when McCain supporter Rev. Arnold Conrad warned you “here are millions of people around this world praying to their God — whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his [McCain’s] opponent wins for a variety of reasons. And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you would step forward and honor your own name in all that happens between now and Election Day.” Well, I just want you to know that even if Obama won you’re still tops with me.  I hope you reallize that.  Don’t let what other people say get you down and stand up for yourself as the deity you are.  Keep an eye on Sarah Palin and convince her to stay in this country.  I think she’s got a real future.

Like a lot of other Christians I was praying against Obama.   I wish you still did some of that Old Testament stuff.  Boy, would a plague of locusts have shut down an Obama fundraiser.  On the other hand, if you were thinking of doing another Katrina on us or something please remember we voted against gay marriage in 3 states.  We know that there is no greater affront to your will than when people have sex outside of a commited monogomus marriage except for when homosexuals have sex inside a commited monogomus marriage.

In closing, you’ve got a bunch of us down here worried that the end times are coming.  If you don’t mind, just keep us posted.  If we have elected the Antichrist please let us know so that we can make sure that he doesn’t get 60 senators on his side.  I can’t wait to see what you do to the Cubs next year.



Written by thatsrightnate

November 10, 2008 at 4:58 pm

14 Responses

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  1. You suck! Chicago’s northsiders play in the major league and are 900 times better than the southsiders. The White Sox thought nothing of throwing the World Series and their biggest fan, Barack Obama, will think nothing of throwing this country into a Marxist state of depression and despair. As a Sox fan, that’s all he knows.


    November 10, 2008 at 5:08 pm

  2. Nate,

    You might want to talk to God more than once every couple of months.

    Imagine how a marriage would work if you only talked once every other month.

    Hmmm….I guess for some that wouldn’t be such a bad idea!

    Keep the communication open with God it will be well worth it.

    I plan on spending eternity with Him. Now is a great time to start the daily dialog.

    God Bless,


    November 10, 2008 at 6:12 pm

  3. so long as`it’s not 66-senators . not to mention all those sycophantic followers still wearing the “mark of O” …


    November 10, 2008 at 10:45 pm

  4. Simply put – the Mormons have proved with their complete obsession with PROP 8 to be a Tax-Exempt Hate Group.

    Heterosexuals – You better wake up. Instead of pondering a cerebral concept like how gays want the “1,138 rights of marriage”, you need to educate yourselves about the CONSEQUENCES when one or more of those 1,138 rights are denied. GOOGLE “Freeheld” or “Tying the Knot”; watch the DVDs. Write it down now.

    Your laws HATE us, and we’ve had it! Yes, I did said HATE – I stand by it. Because how else can you explain these 3 realities?:

    A police woman loses her life in the line of duty; her wife of 13 years is denied all pension benefits.

    A rancher loses his husband of 22 years; his inlaws evict him and try to take the home he built and lived in with his beloved.

    A detective spends 25 years risking her own life while protecting society; she has to spend her remaining days on this earth worrying whether her earned pension will be transferred to her wife (while living with terminal cancer).

    YES, H-A-T-E. And your silence on this matter is a serious affront to our families’s safety and security. FAMILY – isn’t that a cherished concept in the U.S.A.?

    So now after decades of disinterest, some of us in the LGBTI community have AWAKENED. And we will refuse to pay one penny of income tax to the IRS until the government (i.e. – you) decide you WANT our tax dollars as EQUAL CITIZENS.

    This ain’t a vote.
    This ain’t a debate.
    This ain’t a popularity contest.

    You will PAY OUR TAXES until we have what your family ALREADY HAS; your apathy is costing you money as you read this.



    November 11, 2008 at 5:09 am

  5. Gay civil disobedience! I couldn’t agree more. I just think your timing is wrong, John. Think about it: all those members of the Christian Right who voted for McCain and don’t want to accept “a socialist president” are starting to talk about the same thing. And please don’t blame all heterosexuals for voting yet on Prop 8. Some of us are friends and allies.
    “And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you”. What is this reverend doing, for God’s sake? Comparing penis sizes?!


    November 11, 2008 at 6:22 am

  6. Thanks for posting John. I had a few points though:

    “A police woman loses her life in the line of duty; her wife of 13 years is denied all pension benefits.”

    See I don’t really think law enforcement is an appropriate career for a woman. I think they’re kind of delicate for that sort of work and by just focusing on benefits you ignore the real problem.

    Simply refusing to pay taxes will get you in a lot of trouble. I could hook you up with a tax sheltered annuity though. There are also a lot of ways that you can put your money in an offshore bank and protect it from Uncle Sam. If you have any friends who are log cabin Republicans they may be able to help.


    November 11, 2008 at 11:26 am

  7. John, just to let you know that I’m currently holding a survey at my blog paraphrasing Proposition 8. So far 72 people (all Brazilians, mostly heterosexual) have voted, and the results are 95% NO, 5% YES.


    November 12, 2008 at 9:48 am

  8. I really wish I spoke Portuguese.


    November 12, 2008 at 10:08 am

  9. Of course Obama isn’t the Anti-Christ. You must know that the Anti-Christ was born on June 6th, 1966. I know that’s one too many 6s but it only goes to figure that the Devil would hedge his bets.

    So just figure out what celebrity of Obama’s status has that birthday and do what you have to.


    November 12, 2008 at 9:35 pm

  10. Do you know I was born on June 6th, 1967? That’s 3 sixes! I always thought I was the anti-Christ.


    November 13, 2008 at 6:32 am

  11. > What is this reverend doing, for God’s sake?
    > Comparing penis sizes?!

    Penis *sizes*? Phhht! I’m a Hindu, and Vishnu has *eight* penises.


    November 13, 2008 at 6:43 am

  12. lola, i thought you once said you were almost as old as john mccain. did you mean 1867?


    November 13, 2008 at 8:16 am

  13. So your god wins, Lowerclass!
    Gina, well, I was just saying that figuratively, you know, to calm Steve down. And I never said I was McCain’s age! Just “almost”. But still, I’m old enough to be Nate’s grandma, I’m sure.
    Deep down I always knew I couldn’t be the anti-Christ because I wasn’t born in the US and I’m a woman, and the anti-Christ has to be someone really powerful. Like, Sarah Palin could only be the anti-Christ after she’s elected (which I don’t think is very likely). Also, I checked my head several times, and I couldn’t find any 666 written on my skull. So it has to be Omaba.
    On the other hand, since I was alive in the 80s, I remember people saying Reagan was the anti-Christ, because his three names had six letters each. And even with him being the anti-Christ and all, his government was so great…


    November 13, 2008 at 8:33 am

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    May 22, 2012 at 2:01 am

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