That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

That’s Right Nate’s 12 Amazing Christmas Gifts

with 7 comments

Let’s face it–gift giving is hard work. This year I’d really suggest cash as a gift, but that’s just not sentimental enough for some people. I was going to make a list of 10 great gifts, but I decided in honor of the song 12 Days of Christmas to go with a list of 12 well-received Christmas gifts for conservatives.

12. The Free Live Nativity at the Creation Museum ($21.95 adult admission) – Christmas is a great time to celebrate that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and no place does it better than the Creation Museum located just 7 miles from the Cincinnati Airport.

11. Toby Keith – 35 Biggest Hits ($9.99 on Amazon) – This great double cd set was $19 back in May, but now you can pick up two and a half hours of Toby Keith for less than $10.  What real American won’t enjoy listening to songs like Courtesy of the Red White and Blue and Big Ol’ Truck.  You just want to make sure you keep it away from any Dixie Chicks CDs you haven’t burnt yet.

10. Dunkin’ Doughnuts Gift Cards ($10 Denominations up to $200) – If the person you’re gifting drinks a lot of coffee or sits around all day in a mind-numbingly dull office managing the family business as he deals with employees that barely speak English they’ll love this rechargeable gift card from Dunkin’ Doughnuts.  Coffee or Cream Filled–it covers them both.

9. Sarah Palin and  Joe the Plumber Action Figure (32.95 for Joe, 29.95 for Sarah)  – has a great line of Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin action figures that’ll help fill your children with conservative economic principles and a love of hunting.  Imagine the fun your children will have conducting interviews with their Sarah Palin figure or trying to get a country music contract as Joe the Plumber.  Celebrate the potential Republican ticket of 2012.

8. The American Family Association Burning Cross – I mentioned this one a few days back, but you can’t beat the message of God’s love for all as captured by the timeless symbol of a burning cross on your lawn or porch.  You also know you’re supporting an organization that is out to stop the liberal agenda so it really becomes a great lift on a couple of different levels.

7. Hobo Bubblegum Cigarettes ($8.95 for 6 packs from Archie McPhee) – This item combines two things that kids really love–hobos and pretending to smoke. Anybody my age remembers the plethora of toy cigarettes and cigars we used to see growing up in the 70s, but they’ve sadly disappeared along with Hobo stuff. Fortunately, there’s Archie Mcphee.

6. Fred Thompson 2012 T-Shirt ($14.95 for Coulter Sized, $16.95 for Limbaugh Sized) – What better way to remember the excitement of Fred’s 2008 run for the White House than by starting your support for his 2012 run early.  He’s the most dynamic man in politics today and these shirts help keep that excitement going for the next 4 years.

5. The Beer Belly – If you want to sneak beer into a sporting event, concert, or movie you’re limited. I like my Miller Lite and I like it for less than $8 a can. This ingenious device allows you to sneak your beer with you wherever you’re going and you simply look like you’ve got a gut. If you’re a woman you look pregnant. Believe me no security guard gets paid enough to search pregnant women.

4. Claxton Fruit Cake (2 lbs. for $17.95) – Nothing says you thought about somebody’s Christmas gift like the gift of fruit cake does. And Claxton’s has been selling the same batch of fruitcake since 1910 so you know its good.

3. Alan Keyes ($10,000) – You can book former Presidential Candidate Alan Keyes for $10,000 to speak to your group or organization.  Think what a hit he’d be at any dinner party you invited him to.  While people will usually book speakers for a large group, small groups are so much more intimate.  Mr. Keyes can be booked at the All-American Talent & Celebrity Network.

2. Superstars of the Conservative Movement Poster (Free) – OK don’t tell anybody how much you spent, but what Republican doesn’t like giving gifts without spending a dime.  This poster would look great framed in anybody’s office or living room and features such celebrated conservatives as Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Robert Novack, and many others.  The poster is available from the Young America’s Foundation website, and with such forceful conservative voices it’d be a value at twice the price.

1. Canned Goods (Price Varies) – With the economy in its current state, I think the inn gift this year will be canned goods.  Make sure they are non-perishable and try and select a variety.  5 pounds of peaches in light syrup probably won’t be as appreciated as several different cans of a variety of food.  When the food is gone, the can’s work great for putting under a leaky roof or using as a dinner glass. I haven’t included a web link here because a lot of times, you can find better deals at individual grocery stores.


7 Responses

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  1. I can’t believe Alan left Sean at this time of the year. It’s kind of stripped away the magic of Christmas for me.


    November 24, 2008 at 5:06 pm

  2. I’m still not sure of your exact purpose of blog. But I know one thing, I like reading your blog when I’ve been a bit sauced. And that’s a compliment.
    What would you suggest for a woman who makes Christmas presents for loved ones? Women are easy to make presents for, but I have two boy cousins that are college age. I don’t think they would appreciate aprons, placemats or pajamas.


    November 24, 2008 at 6:19 pm

  3. I’m gonna get me that fake beer gut. Need to smuggle more beer to my socialist rallies…


    November 24, 2008 at 7:08 pm

  4. michiganredneck, since you admit that you enjoy getting sauced yourself (and who doesn’t?), i suggest that a tastefuly-wrapped sixpack of bud or miller would probably gladden the hearts of your college boy cousins.

    nate, here’s another suggestion. everybody needs a calendar; what man could resist “Pretty in Mink! 2009 Calendar”, with “some of your favorite leaders of today’s conservative movement,” all decked out in furs; hotty ann coulter is miss september! ladies, your guys are sure to love this for the den or office.

    this link makes a disgusting mockery of the calendar, but it does provide thumbnail pics of all the gorgeous, brainy gals:


    November 24, 2008 at 7:25 pm

  5. I know I would have loved a nice beer cozy when I was in college. Good to see you again Michigan 🙂


    November 24, 2008 at 7:42 pm

  6. […] A Rotten Girl’s Gift Guide 5 12 2008 It’s a week after Thanksgiving, and the ultimate gift-giving season is upon us. Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or another holiday (and hey, even heathens like me like receiving gifts!), you’re probably scrambling for gift ideas. Never fear, here at Rotten Little Girls we’ll break it down for you. (Or, for our few conservative readers, check out Nate’s Conservative Wishlist). […]

  7. […] a comment » Many of you have told me how much you appreciated my Amazing Christmas Gifts post awhile back.  Well since that I posted that I found some new gifts and thought a few things I […]

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