That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

Republican Party Must Become Sexual Predators by 2012

with 2 comments

Representative Pete Sessions of Texas

Representative Pete Sessions of Texas

Representative Pete Sessions (R-TX) is a very good man.  I think he’s one of the people who best knows how we can retake Congress and the White House because he is both a brilliant politician and a splendid tactician.  Yesterday, Sessions said “Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban and that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person’s entire processes. And these Taliban…I’m saying an example of how you go about [sic] is to change a person from their messaging to their operations to their frontline message. And we need to understand that insurgency may be required when the other side, the House leadership, does not follow the same commands, which we entered the game with.”

This is indeed a brilliant strategy, but before we begin to wire college Republicans with suicide belts and send them into feminist poetry readings, we should instead reimagine ourselves as sexual predators.  Now, before people jump all over me I’m not saying we should be sexual predators, merely that we should act like sexual predators.  I found a list of the traits of sexual predators from no less a respected expert than Dr. Phil.  I believe this should be our playbook going forward:

1. Refusal to take responsibility for actions and blames others or circumstances for failures- After the last 8 years, we definitely need to work hard at this one.  Remember, it is the Obama Recession.  Remember it is Obama’s disastrous foreign policy that is failing us.

2. A sense of entitlement – This is going to be easier than I thought.  We all have this in spades.  That’s why we’re Republicans in the first place.

3. Need for power and control – Three for three!

4. Lack of Empathy – This is going to be tough for us, but we can do it.  I remember when Hurrican Katrina hit, I was so moved that like a lot of other Republicans I almost donated blood.  The Heritage Foundation makes an excellent start for us here.

5. Inability to form intimate relationships with adults- We have that one covered too.

Now, knowing that our grand old party has a lot in common with these wretched creeps and lowlifes we can see exactly what our path to the future must be.  We must look at the American people in the eye and smile at them as we keep up a facade of helpfulness and respectability.  Only by doing this can we gain their trust and thus gain the White House.  Behind closed doors we can exchange our conservative philosophies all the while keeping a respectful front.

Of course, if this doesn’t work I’m ready to try taking us in the Taliban direction instead.   Maybe, what we need to do is be like the Nazis and use a lighting war approach to destroy the Democrats before they know what hit them.  In any event, if we go the Taliban route, I can’t think of anybody I’d rather have for my Mullah than Pete Sessions.

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Written by thatsrightnate

February 5, 2009 at 6:47 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Nate, you’d make a much better Republican strategist than Joe the Plumber. I hope they appreciate you. I look forward to seeing you on talking head shows in the future.

    zenyenta

    February 6, 2009 at 6:52 am

  2. […] Republican Party Must Become Sexual Predators by 2012 (www.thatsrightnate.com/Nate Peele – Author) […]


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