That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

Whose Gonna Watch the Watchmen?

with 29 comments

This Friday comes another comic book movie that I had big hopes for.  Unfortunately, The Watchmen doesn’t seem very super at all.  As a kid I loved comic books because they were books that let me look at the pictures instead of getting bogged down in all those words that regular books had.  I was hoping for an exciting comic book movie like Iron Man or Spider Man 3, but sadly what I got was a depressing and nihilistic downer where the heroes didn’t even really have powers.

To begin with the plot for Watchmen was clearly ripped off from The Incredibles only it wasn’t handled nearly as skillfully.  The movie is set in 1985 when President Nixon has outlawed superheroes.  Hello?!  Tell me I’m not the only one who has heard of the 22nd amendment.  At least The Incredibles had heroes who could really do stuff.  Other than Doctor Manhattan, none of The Watchmen even have abilities above mortal men.

Other than Rorschach the heroes all seem to suffer from personality disorders of one kind or another.  They actually made the Dark Knight movie seem cheery.   The director made a huge mistake with Rorschach as well.  They evidently figured that we wouldn’t notice what his mask looked like, but the black spots were constantly moving.

The entire movie just seems like an attempt by the studio to rip off the success of other dark superhero stories this year like Batman, Punisher 2, and The Spirit.  Unfortunately, nobody’s really familiar with these characters so it all falls flat.  At least I knew who Punisher was.  It would have been really helpful to cast existing superheroes in this movie.  The final confrontation at the end of the movie would have bee much more dramatic with Aquaman, Hulk, and Lex Luthor instead of these third stringers.  At least the movie avoided The Dark Knight’s mistake of packaging a ton of political ideology in the film.   Unfortunately, I can only give this derivative movie one star.  Its a shame because I really wanted to like it.

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Written by thatsrightnate

March 4, 2009 at 6:29 pm

29 Responses

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  1. Whatever happened to great comics like Archie? You know Archie was hep….he had two women. All these dark and gritty comics like the Watchmen are confusing and depressing to me. I heard it’s 5 hours long. About people I’ve never heard of with no super powers. Shouldn’t they at least try to get me to care?
    I don’t even have to see it to give it two thumbs down. Why don’t they make an Archie movie?

    wrecksracer

    March 4, 2009 at 10:57 pm

  2. I’d pay to see that

    thatsrightnate

    March 5, 2009 at 6:37 am

  3. Umm… Have you read the comic at all? All of your complaints would have been addressed had you bothered to do any reasearch at all.

    Since the source material predates the Incredibles by more than a decade, it’d be the other way around. The comic makes it clear that this is an alternate world where Trick Dick got legislation passed allowing him to run for more than two terms. Partially due to the fact that America won in Vietnam.

    Every single one of your complaints sounds to my like the director and writer got the graphic novel correct.

    Please if you’re going to pan a movie at least make sure you’ve got your facts about the movie correct. It makes it difficult for conservatives like myself to hold a meaningful dialouge with liberals who are going to paint us all with the same brush.

    Vulcan Stev

    March 5, 2009 at 10:04 pm

  4. More than a decade? Incredibles came out years ago. There was nothing about the movie that indicated it wasn’t our Earth and I’m sorry comic books or graphic novels as you call them aren’t supposed to be depressing–at least not the good ones.

    thatsrightnate

    March 5, 2009 at 10:27 pm

  5. The Watchmen Comic was published in 86 and 87. The incredibles came out in 2004. That qualifies as more than a decade by my math.

    Um Richard Nixon as President in ’85 wasn’t clue enough this WASN’T reality?

    I won’t argue with your opinions, they are your opinions and you are entitled to them. My quibble with your review is in getting the facts wrong.

    Vulcan Stev

    March 6, 2009 at 7:14 am

  6. “The Watchmen Comic was published in 86 and 87. The incredibles came out in 2004. That qualifies as more than a decade by my math.”

    Well what year did the Incredibles Comic come out. I couldn’t find that.

    “Um Richard Nixon as President in ‘85 wasn’t clue enough this WASN’T reality?”

    That doesn’t make it a different reality. I just assumed they liked Nixon.

    thatsrightnate

    March 6, 2009 at 7:20 am

  7. This talk about different realities is confusing me. I tell you, it will lead to some sort of crisis. Are you telling me that comic books happen in an alternate reality? How do you explain the guy that just ran past my window in a mask and cape?

    wrecksracer

    March 6, 2009 at 8:07 am

  8. @nate The Incredibles are wholly original characters created by Pixar. Since I’m not familiar with their development lagtime I’m assuming the script was in developement sometime after Toy Story, long after The Watchmen comic

    @wrecksracer That was Obama’s new head of Homeland Security

    Vulcan Stev

    March 6, 2009 at 5:49 pm

  9. Well fine. How do you explain the ending being ripped off from Ronald Reagan. The one thing I really did enjoy was the portrayal of Richard Nixon. This is two movies this year to paint him in a positive light. I hope that people will take another look at his record now.

    thatsrightnate

    March 6, 2009 at 6:40 pm

  10. I always remember “Maid in Manhattan”, with Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes. In the movie Jen is a single mother with a kid, and the kid is learning about the 70s in his school. Guess who he decides will be his idol? Nixon! And then people are afraid that gay teachers recruit children…

    Lola

    March 7, 2009 at 6:46 am

  11. […] I rethink the movie, I reallize it wasn’t as bad as maybe I originally reported.  I didn’t like the ending which was obviously designed to set up the sequel, but I did […]

  12. Check out this Watchmen marquee. The Squid is all in your head:

    http://fullbodytransplant.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/bring-your-own-squid/

    Brilliant.

    fullbodytransplant

    March 12, 2009 at 7:51 am

  13. whoever wrote this is a complete moron, maybe if your intellectual capacity could understand the hidden messages within the film you would understand how ingenious it really is

    Jay

    March 15, 2009 at 2:19 am

  14. Hidden messages? The whole thing seemed like it was made just to set up the sequel with Night Owl and Silk Spectre foiling Ozymandius’ next master plot.

    thatsrightnate

    March 15, 2009 at 8:11 am

  15. I had nagging feeling throughout the movie that the they chose the wrong girl for the (younger) Silk Spectre; all the other character choices were perfect tho

    coffee

    March 15, 2009 at 1:38 pm

  16. You are all idiots (but not you Vulcan Steve)

    1. Comic books in nature are usually pretty depressing, but I guess I can’t expect someone who reads comics for the pretty pictures, probably because they can’t actually read at all, would understand that.

    2. The Incredibles was a freaking kids movie designed by PIXAR, THERE IS NO COMIC BOOK YOU FREAKIN MORON!!!

    3. Their isn’t going to be a sequel, at all… unless Alan Moore magically begins to love hollywood and decides to write a sequel some 20 or 30 years after the original, not to mention he’d have to be able to forgive Zach Snyder for butchering this film, unless that magically happens, there will be NO SEQUEL.

    4. For those of you defending the movie, it sucked. It was exactly what Alan Moore thought it would be, a spoon fed, water downed version of the COMIC BOOKS of COMIC BOOKS The Watchmen. Once again we were all forced to watch as a beautiful peace of literature was completely stripped of all underlying messages, social connotations, and ulterior motives, and anything else that can normally found between the lines, which make a story worth wild, and turned into a greek arena sold only for the blood, body count and sex scenes. I will smile the day Hollywood Burns to the ground.

    Aaron

    March 15, 2009 at 10:40 pm

  17. 1. Archie isn’t depressing
    2. There’s a Toy Story comic book and that’s Pixar I think
    3. If this Alan Moore guy hates this movie, why would he have to love it to write a sequel?
    4. I will also be looking forward to Hollywood burning to the ground. Comic books should be escapist entertainment without all that blood and sex like Spiderman 3 or the Batman movie with the governator. That’s entertainment.

    thatsrightnate

    March 16, 2009 at 5:23 am

  18. I just watched “The Watchmen” and I loved it! I have not read the novel yet, though I have read many other comics growing up. If you had read the novel and were complaining that it failed to meet your expectations, then I could understand your complaints, but it looks like you, and several others, went into this without knowing the basic plot-line at all. This was a very different comic, based on mortal people with some slight enhancements. That is one of the basic points about the comic. So your complaint about them not being super-powered is moot.

    Secondly, Iron man was enjoyable, and fun, but Spiderman III?! Spiderman is my favourite comic from when I was a child, and Spiderman III was a complete gong show poorly written and executed (that’s the most polite I can be about that movie).

    Thirdly, I’ll explain since you didn’t do your homework, this comic writes the story of what if America overturned the 22 amendment that nobody can serve more than 2 terms, and Nixon has been re-elected, and in power ever since. It is practically a dictatorship. Also, the cold war has continued to escalate. So, yes, it was originally our world, but then history takes a different path in the novel/movie. It’s make-believe; a story.

    Fourthly, Are you saying that you thought the movement in Rorschach’s mask was unintentional? Um no. Rorschach refers to the Rorschach inkblot tests. Rorschach’s mask continuously moves into different inkblot patterns. That’s kind of his thing. If you didn’t understand that on your own, or from his name, you should have figured it out when he was having his psychological test done in prison.

    This is a dark movie, which fully earned it’s R rating, and you shouldn’t see it if you aren’t prepared for that. Don’t just say “Oh boy, a superhero movie” and run off to the theater (there were so many pre-teens in that movie theater that shouldn’t have been there).

    I’m not saying it was brilliant, or that it all made sense (who jumps into a burning building wearing only lycra, with their hair down and exposed skin?) but I really felt that your criticisms were unfounded. As, for me, I’m off to read the graphic novel, because I know it will be grittier, and more depressing, and moving, and I want to hear the unfilterd message that Alan Moore had to say b/c I know it kind of got left out of the movie.

    Thanks, and have a good day!

    Renee

    March 16, 2009 at 9:10 am

  19. They did make an Archie’s movie (live-action) almost 20 years ago. I think I was 10 when I saw it, and I absolutely loved Archie comics (hey, I was 10). It was a really bad movie. Even at 10, I could tell it sucked. The animated cartoon series that came out wasn’t very good either. Just saying.

    go Vulcan Stev!

    Renee

    March 16, 2009 at 9:26 am

  20. who is this Vulcan Steve thst aaron seems to worship? is he a cartoon character in his own alternate universe? if so, i look forward to seeing the hollywood screen version. (if i can find think the spandex tights i think i still have in a drawer somewhere. can i have a bit part?)

    gina

    March 16, 2009 at 10:11 am

  21. Now the Watchmen is a novel? I thought it was a comic book? Don’t get me wrong, I love the part of the movie where Nixon gets to be President for life. However, a comic book about the 22nd amendment sounds really boring. Thanks for helping me with the ink blots. More depressing–yay!

    thatsrightnate

    March 16, 2009 at 6:06 pm

  22. Gina, do you mind jumping into a burning building? Do you have long hair? Can you wear it down?

    thatsrightnate

    March 16, 2009 at 6:06 pm

  23. no, yes and yes – where do i sign?

    gina

    March 16, 2009 at 6:36 pm

  24. Morons. Yes utter morons. No not “Nate” but you that choose to comedy. HE IS BEING SARCASTIC and making a parody of what “Nate” thinks us big ole conservatives we are. Actually quite a good job, too good as not one fool figures it out. It’s scares me that people will think you are what a conservative is, thereby scaring the youthful and lost leftists into becoming full blown Michael Moore American haters and apologists. No “Nate” I am what a conservative is not your parody. Like Mr. O’Reilly, I am a chaminadr high school graduate who went to a good college BUT breaking your mold Steve, I am a 6’2″ male model who used my exterior and celebrity contacts to make a living and a good one at that. Now I plan to get more deeply involved in the political world to show people of my generation and younger that not all Conservatives are like the moron character you paint of yourself. You should watch great programs like the o’reilly factor, red eye, and the great Mr. Glenn Beck. I am sure you will never let this remain up so I making sure to forward it. With all sincerity you really are one very funny conservative hater. been laughing my behind off.

    Brandon
    Nycbrandonmarcel@yahoo.com

    Brandon Marcel

    April 16, 2009 at 5:49 am

  25. I really don’t see the humor Brandon, nor do I really see much of a political tone in the Watchmen, but after my previous experience modeling for the Sears Husky line in the 1980s and early 90s, I believe that more male models male just be the prescription for what ails the Republican party.

    thatsrightnate

    April 16, 2009 at 5:55 am

  26. Brandon, did you teabag yesterday? I am an attractive, conservative, former Miss Ohio. I am seeking Mr. Right. he has to be handsome, rich, conservative, and a good teabagger. If you’d like to know more about me, just sent me a message care of the pageant office.

    cecily

    April 16, 2009 at 6:10 am

  27. You sir are very funny. I just read Watchmen and by chance googles Watchmen and depressing and got you. Only read that piece when I wrote (And I might mention am heavily sedated on nyquil, damn cough and typing with huge hands on an iPod touch ergo said misspellings) and really am frightened at how naive people are. And in response to the male modeling, as I said I’m feverish (chalk that up to 25 percent) but in reality the comment stems from my impoverished and fat and homely childhood, but mostly how hot the Fox News women are and am hoping they google my pics. In all seriousness, in between shakes and vomiting, I read more of your articles, and although idealogically I am sure we are night and day, you really add fun and brevity to the often stake issues we fight tooth and nail over. It does scare me though that these people really take toy serious. Around 80 percent. Has the world gone mad! Mad I say! Or is it just the fever? Wish me luck as I transition from modeling, to co starring with Richard Grieco, to sales to..a dare I say the White House one day. I do expect your endorsement sir. God bless. Oppss your a Lin. I didn’t mean to offend you with the mention or God sir

    Brandon Marcel

    April 16, 2009 at 6:22 am

  28. Brandon, What about me?

    cecily

    April 16, 2009 at 8:38 am

  29. So Alan Moore got in his time machine in 1984-85, when he was writing Watchmen, went into the future year 2004 in order to steal the plot from a Disney/Pixar film, in order to take that plot back to the eighties with him and use it for his graphic novel he was writing the story for. It’s an immeasurable source of sadness and despair to me, the fact that retards such as the author of this blog have the means to make their brain wavelengths (let’s call them “thoughts”, although they hardly qualify) known to anyone unfortunate enough to have an Internet connection and the time to waste to read them.

    Offended

    January 12, 2011 at 4:49 am


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