That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

Field of Queens: Iowa Ends Gay Marriage Ban

with 5 comments

Oh Iowa, what have you done?  Will the rest of this country ever be able to look at a bunch of smartly clad men walking out of your cornfields together in the same way ever again?  Through a series of stunning movies, the state has clearly asserted itself as the Midwest’s center for debauchery much like California is in the West and New York in the East.  First they helped put Barack Obama on the national scene in the Democrat caucus, now they have legalized gay marriage,  and I bet there are other things too.

I apologize if I come off as angry today, it is just that I love this country and this isn’t the way it is supposed to happen.   The courts aren’t supposed to legislate.  That is the job of the people.  Does anybody really believe that at least some of the Southern states would have desegregated schools by now if the courts hadn’t intervened in the 1950s?  The courts do nothing for us, but cause trouble and strife.

What you’re get in Iowa now is a bunch of gays.  I don’t really have a problem with gay people, but there will be obvious changes to the state almost immediately.  Des Moines will no longer be pronounced (Damoyns), but will soon by called (Day Mwa).  Eventually, the entire state will be turned into a little Sadam or Gamoran right in the middle of our heartland.  Do we really believe Iowa’s trademark farmer’s tan can survive this?   Iowa was built by men who rarely had sex with their wives, let alone each other.

What I suspect happens is that you’ve got these people and we’ll they’re Christians.  They’re good people, they try to raise their kids the right way and all of that.   Then one day Jimmy gets bored of going to church and wanders into a gay pride parade.  He’s intrigued by the music and the bright colors and he starts to question his own sexuality.  Before long he’s starting to notice that other men are attractive and within a year or two he’s on top of a float in a gay pride parade dressed like one of the Village People.

We need to put a stop to this and hit Iowa where it hurts.  According to the Made in Iowa website, their number one seller is the Iowa Country Barn Burner Mustard made by the Dennison Mustard Company of Western Iowa.  Until the God fearing people of Iowa put a ban back on gay marriage I’m calling on my readers to quit using all Dennison Mustard Company products.  If we really make it hurt in the wallet, Iowa will come to its senses.

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Written by thatsrightnate

April 4, 2009 at 9:39 am

5 Responses

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  1. New York has a great Gay Pride parade, Christopher Street, the Halloween thing, and most of the men living in within the NYC limits are, of course, gay, but we don’t have gay marriage yet. New England has rushed ahead of us on that with MA and CT and VT led in the civil union department and is considering marriage. And now, Iowa. We are losing our edge here in NY. And as for CA, with that Prop 8 thing, fuggedaboutit. They’re positively retro out there.

    zenyenta

    April 4, 2009 at 10:45 am

  2. I thought “Gay” meant “Happy”. Is there something wrong with a happy marriage? Should I avoid these happy people? Iowa is bad because they are happy? It’s so confusing.

    wrecksracer

    April 5, 2009 at 8:29 am

  3. […] Double Your Fun, Double Your Entendre Salient – or perhaps salacious – analysis of the ramifications of Iowa’s Varnum v. Brien: Do we really believe Iowa’s trademark farmer’s tan can survive this?   Iowa was built by men […]

  4. […] Knight from the theaters, cut Salvation Army donations, made Alan Colmes leave Fox, and are in the middle of bringing the Iowa mustard industry to its knees.  Only Bill O’Reilly’s recent ass kicking of Spain can trump us, but I’m not yet […]

  5. This is great for the gays and lesbian. Now they will be together. Hopefully if they vow the sanctity of marriage no divorce will take place.

    Micaela

    December 19, 2009 at 10:35 am


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