That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

The Bristol Palin Abstinence Tour

with 11 comments

T-Shirts like these are available at the Candies' Bristol Palin Abstinence Tour

I am really excited that Bristol Palin is doing an abstinence tour this summer.  I don’t think there is a better way to get the message across to young children that God doesn’t approve of sinful sexual behavior than by holding up her crying baby and proudly proclaiming to the audience that this could happen to you.  Best of all, its sponsored by Candies who you know will do an amazing job since they have experience promoting rock shows like Britney Spears’ current amazing Circus tour.  In fact, Britney and Bristol seem to be the new face of candies.  Together, they give girls the message that not having sex doesn’t mean not having any fun–afterall you can go pretty far without intercourse.

There has been some controversy after Levi Johnston, the father of Bristol’s child, called abstinence unrealistic and implied that the reason that Bristol got pregnant was that they never used birth control.  That’s possible, but that is certainly not the message we need to be teaching to our children today.

I feel relatively sure that my 13 year old daughter Emily will not be sexually active until she’s at least out of college and possibly longer.   I didn’t have to sit down and have a long talk with her or anything.  One day as we were leaving the self-storage facility I turned to her from nowhere and blurted out in my deepest most serious voice, “Emily, all I have to say is good girls don’t and bad girls do”.  She looked at me with a puzzled expression and asked,  “What do you mean?” and I replied “Exactly what I said”.  She nodded and I could tell we had a moment that will stick with her for the rest of her life.  It makes me feel better just to know that we’ve had the talk.

Now some people will tell you that Bristol Palin as an unwed teen mother makes no sense to be preaching practicine abstinence.   Practicing abstinence is something that girls need to do for their teen lives and the more you practice it, the better you get.  I’m sure that Bristol can be exactly the role model that kids need.  In fact, I have been thinking that Emily could do something similar on a local level.   Emily is chubby in fact at 5’7″ and 125 pounds, she’s really kind of a porker.  I have been wondering if we could get a local restaurant like a McDonalds or Subway to get her to go around and teach kids about healthy eating.   Just as Bristol’s child provides a lesson that words alone could not, my daughter’s weight problem could do the same thing.   This is definitely something to look into for summer.  In the meantime, you go Bristol!  You’re sexy enough to make the boys wait.


Written by thatsrightnate

June 18, 2009 at 4:02 pm

11 Responses

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  1. As hot as Bristle Palin is, her mom has her beat with the sexy librarian look. I bet she doesn’t use birth control, either. I wish Sarah Palin would go on a book signing tour so I could make an awkward pass at her. You betcha!


    June 18, 2009 at 11:00 pm

  2. Wow, a Sarah Palin book would almost be cool if it didn’t have too many words.


    June 19, 2009 at 8:03 am

  3. Does god forgive the frumpy sluts for their pre-marital incursions?

    Where can I get a teeshirt that says “I wasn’t sexy enough to keep boys waiting”

    beccy joe

    June 19, 2009 at 8:58 am

  4. Not really sure what recommendations apply to non-sexy girls. I imagine they are free to just go ahead and have sex.


    June 19, 2009 at 11:31 am

  5. Nate and Beccy Joe, your post and your comment made me laugh out loud, and this is not something easy to achieve, considering how bad my PhD defense went (I passed, but they gave me a low score that I considered unfair. More on this here, in Portuguese, but you can see photos: ).
    Ha ha, I guess I wasn’t sexy enough either to keep the boys waiting!
    But Nate, sweetie, your reply to Beccy gives Emily the go-ahead to have sex before college. Like, tomorrow even. I hope she doesn’t read your blog.


    June 20, 2009 at 9:05 pm

  6. I’m really not too worried we had the talk. Sorry, your post got stuck in the spam filter for 3 days. Word Press doesn’t like links. Anyway, I’m glad you passed even with the unfair process.


    June 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm

  7. Hey Dr. Lola,

    Congratulations! I hope your PHD brings you as much joy as mine. Nothing is as fulfilling as teaching US History to the fresh and inquisitive minds of Chicago Public School students. Is your degree in History, or in some feminine field like English, Sociology, or Home Ec?

    Dr. Steve


    June 22, 2009 at 6:37 pm

  8. Hi, Dr. Steve. My PhD is in English. Well, Literature in the English Language, actually. My dissertation was about violence and the uncanny in five productions of Macbeth.
    I’m glad it’s over, and I need vacations soon! But in the beginning of August there will be a contest in the Northeast of Brazil (in Fortaleza, a wonderful place where there are many beaches and it’s sunny and warm 300 days a year – I live in the South, and though it’s not nearly as cold as it is in the US, it’s still cold eventually), and I want to try. The problem is that there are 15 topics we have to know. FIFTEEN! 7 related to Linguistics and 8 to Literature. Then on the day of the written test they pick one randomly and you have four hours to write an essay about that topic. No notes! Then they pick another topic and you have 24 hours to prepare a 50-minute class. So if you don’t know something about each one of the 15 topics, it’s better not to go.


    June 22, 2009 at 8:42 pm

  9. Here are the fifteen topics, just for you to have an idea:
    1. Theme, focus and information processing
    2. From sentence to text (the notion of “text” and grammatical devices)
    3. Sentence types and discourse functions
    4. The interrelation between the sound system of English and other areas of research
    5. Mood and Modality
    6. The Semantics of the English Verbs
    7. The Complexity of English Noun Clauses
    8. Renaissance Elizabethan Theater
    9. Romanticism in Britain
    10. Romanticism in America
    11. The Irish Literary Movement: The culture twilight
    12. The short story as Literary Form: A study of case
    13. The Novel of Reconstruction: The lost generation
    14. The Harlem Literary Renaissance
    15. American Theater: Eugene O’Neill & Tennessee Williams
    Ok, without studying, I could maybe answer number 12 (short story) and 15 (O’Neill, Williams). Maybe Renaissance Theater. The first seven topics look like Greek to me. I didn’t even know noun clauses were complex!


    June 22, 2009 at 8:48 pm

  10. […] The Bristol Palin Abstinence Tour ( […]

  11. I perform tons of number gathering for these types of games because I think that the past will usually give us an idea of what may happen in the future. As you know sometimes its really hard to know the winning team in the NFL. This is why I consider using statistics for football.

    Bill Cardinals

    June 27, 2011 at 4:49 am

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