That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

After Years of Dissapointing God, Oral Roberts is Called Home

with 5 comments

Some people believe that rather than being judgmental, God is all loving.  However, you have to believe that by now God had a love/ hate relationship with Oral Roberts who died yesterday at the age of 91.    Their contentious relationship began in 1977 when a 900 foot tall Jesus appeared to Oral and told him to build the City of Faith Medical Center and guaranteed it would be a success.   Roberts did what he was told and supposedly God was pleased.

God realized that Oral was a man who could get things done and Jesus appeared to him in person, not as a vision, to tell him to find a cure for cancer.  Unfortunately, 26 years later and Jesus must have gotten quite impatient.  In fact, God threatened to kill Roberts in 1987 if he didn’t raise an $8,000,000 ransom.   Fortunately, Roberts was able to raise the money, which he used to create scholarships for City of Faith.  Unfortunately, Roberts had to shut down City of Faith two years later.   To say God was peeved would be an understatement.

Also, in the late 1980s God was dragged into the whole Jim Bakker scandal when Roberts claimed that he had direct revelation from Jesus that Bakker was innocent.   This despite the fact that God has always preferred to avoid the limelight and work instead through intermediaries and burning plants.   With Roberts dead, he clearly has a lot to answer for.   He has left his ministries in the capable hands of his son, Richard “Anal” Roberts who will presumably carry on his father’s good works.   Unfortunately, at the time of writing this, Jesus could not be reached for comment.

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Written by thatsrightnate

December 16, 2009 at 10:34 pm

5 Responses

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  1. You didn’t know–god has him working on another project in heaven–might swindle the angels though.

    Arius

    December 17, 2009 at 1:56 am

  2. I’m glad to hear he found work

    thatsrightnate

    December 17, 2009 at 6:52 am

  3. At least he will be with his dearly departed wife Evelyn “Vaginal” Roberts in Heaven.

    beccy joe

    December 17, 2009 at 5:24 pm

  4. Yes, they will finally be together again

    thatsrightnate

    December 17, 2009 at 6:47 pm

  5. How DID he come to be named,”Oral”? WTF kind of name is that??

    equa yona

    December 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm


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