That’s Right Nate

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Archive for the ‘Congressman Kimble’ Category

New Jack Kimble Campaign Commercial

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Written by thatsrightnate

August 24, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Congressmen Explain How to Spot Illegals

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With the threat to the country growing from illegal aliens, it is our patriotic duty to be on the lookout for illegals.  Of course, with some 12,000,000 illegal aliens hiding in this country, they have obviously gotten quite good at avoiding detection.  California has had one of the biggest problems with illegal Mexican immigrations since joining the United States.   This unique problem has led  California Congressmen Brian Bilbray and Jack Kimble to study the problem. Together, they offer very easy tips for spotting illegal aliens.

Bilbray relies on clothing as a dead giveaway, “look at the kind of dress you wear, there’s different types of attire, there’s different type of…right down to the shoes, right down to the clothes. But mostly by behavior it’s mostly behavior, just as the law enforcement people here in Washington, DC does it based on certain criminal activity there is behavior things that professionals are trained in across the board and this group shouldn’t be exempt from those observations as much as anybody else.”

Kimble agrees saying, “Oh yes, there are certain behaviors you can’t miss.  If there is a cactus or a shady tree, they will you know I mean a lot of times they’ll take naps there.   The other thing about illegal aliens as Congressman Bilbray pointed out is their clothing.   I have gotten quite good at detecting illegals from their clothing. The key is looking for sombreros and luchador masks.  Those are dead give aways.”

Bilbray and Kimble both agreed that accents could be misleading.  “Sometimes they’ll adopt a fake British accent that will completely fool you,” said Kimble, “They’re good.  They’re Dick Van Dyke good.”

For us average citizens, the key is keeping an eye open.  Illegal immigrants are everywhere in this country and we need to keep a vigilant eye at all times.  Hopefully, with helpful tips like these, we can win the war on illegal immigration

Written by thatsrightnate

April 22, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Congressman Kimble’s Spanish Language Commercial

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[Wow!  He’s fluent in Spanish too.  It’s important for Republicans to reach out to all voters, regardless of their race]

Written by thatsrightnate

December 25, 2009 at 11:56 pm

A Thanksgiving Wish from Congressman Kimble

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Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holiday. It’s a wonderful time to have the whole family together and follow our own particular traditions. I always like to think of the Pilgrims celebrating that first Thanksgiving nearly 300 years ago at Plymouth Rock. Because Christians were being persecuted in Europe, they had to come to America where they could be free to worship.

Times were very hard for the Pilgrims. They arrived in the winter and they didn’t have a lot of food on their ship to eat. However, somehow they made it through the winter in this strange land called The United States of America. When Fall came, they invited over the strange red men they had met called Indians to partake with them in a feast. At this time there were still too few to conquer the Indians, but that would come eventually. Instead, they used the holiday to look for any weakness in the savages.

Those brave pilgrims and their ancestors would soon go on to conquer not only those Indians, but all the Indians from sea to shining seas. I see that same can do spirit in America today. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and enjoy good food and togetherness. The economy is in a slump now and if your Thanksgiving table seems a bit more sparse this year, please remember all of those who have nothing. It’ll make you remember just how delicious your turkey truly is.

Written by thatsrightnate

November 26, 2009 at 11:29 pm

A Day in the Life of a Congressman

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[OK, I admit it, I stole it off of Congressman Kimble’s blog.  Enjoy]

Do you know what your U.S. Representative does? If not, you’re not alone. Even though members of Congress play key roles in our government, they often are overlooked. They are democracy’s utility infielders.

What do members of Congress do? How do they spend their days? I think this is a very fascinating question.  I’d like to try and answer it for you.

6:00 a.m.

I am up very early in the morning.   My alarm is set for 5:00, but I hit snooze until 6:00.   While I’m still in my pajamas I pour myself a bowl of cereal.  I used to buy the small variety packs—you know the ones that have Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms, Rice Krispies, in tiny little boxes all wrapped up in cellophane.  The problem is those boxes don’t have prizes in them.   Now, I buy big boxes of cereal so I can still get something extra—that’s the Republican way.  If the cereal gets stale, I buy a new box.

I like to take my cereal to the living room and watch early morning television.  One of the local UHF station shows Mama’s Family and Gomer Pyle back to back.  I like to start my day off with a laugh.  After breakfast, I walk to the Capitol building.

8:00 a.m.

I have breakfast with a group of House Republicans and Joe Lieberman.   This is mostly an excuse for myself to gloat to Duncan Hunter about what a bust Roy Williams has been on his Fantasy Football team.   We try to explain football to Lieberman, but despite him saying “oh I get it” a lot, you know he doesn’t.

9:00 a.m.

My next stop is the House champer for a Republican conference meeting.  Here, I have a great chance to talk directly to Republican leaders, or I would if we had some.   I really look forward to this face to face time with my colleagues.   It’s so funny, Joe Lieberman always follows us in here and we have to remind him that he caucuses with the Democrats.  Then he acts like he was just kidding.

9:45 a.m.

I head over to my committee meetings.  I’m on the Agriculture, Budget, Industrialization, and Protocol committees as well as the Softball Team and Glee Club.  I’m told that committees do a lot of the important work in Congress, but they’re just so boring.   I usually pass notes with one of my colleagues.  Trent Franks is an amazing tic tac toe player and he can always beat me unless I can put a mark in the middle square first.  Whether you can get a nap here or not really depends on your committee leader.

11:00 am.

I’m on the phone with C-Span, letting them know that I’m available to do interviews on any topic.  They tell me they’ll get back to me, but they sound like they mean it this time.

11:30 a.m.

Unexpected events often happen.  That’s why it’s important to make yourself scarce in the middle of the day as much as possible.  If there are lunch plans, I’ll stick around.  It’s always more fun to go as a group.  If I’m on my own, I’ll usually go to Roy Rogers for the Double R Bar Burger.

1:00 p.m.

I get together with my staff and we watch Judge Mathis together.   My office never misses the Judge if we can help it.  I was so made that Obama overlooked him entirely for the Supreme Court.   My staff also is in charge of making sure I see only positive mail.   I’m currently working on a delicate international situation involving the Nigerian royal family that began with an email to my office.  I am hopefully that I will be able to help this prince regain his rightful throne.

2:00 p.m.

I’m off to the National Republican Congressional Committee meeting.  The NRCC works to get Republicans elected to Congress and we really hope we can turn things around.  Lately, it’s just been one big cry session.

5:00 p.m.

A special voting session of the House of Representatives begins, and I go to my seat in the House chamber. Bells go off in our offices–just like in school–and we have 15 minutes to go to the House to cast our votes,

Voting usually occurs on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and starts at about noon. But toward the end of a congressional session, voting can take place on any workday and can run late into the night, as the House rushes to complete work on legislation. This is great nap time.   Ipods are strongly discouraged here—I found out the hard way.   Speaker Pelosi will stare at you with her cold dead eyes if she thinks you’re screwing around.   Sometimes, I like to make fart noises and dare her to catch me.

9:00 p.m.

Joe Lieberman always wants us to go to a hot tub party after a vote, but he’s so wrinkled now. I always decline.   Instead, this is a good time to get together with colleagues at one of the local DC watering holes.   Paul Broun always winds up in tears, but today he’s upbeat.  He wants me to see if Debbie Wasserman Schultz likes him.  I ask him if he means likes him and he says “like him like him”.  I guess I’ll work on this tomorrow.

Written by thatsrightnate

November 6, 2009 at 11:25 pm