Archive for the ‘Election’ Category
Sarah Palin’s Underwear – My Last Post on Palin
Sarah Palin's views on Pan-Africanism run strong.
This is going to be my last post on Sarah Palin for awhile. The election is over and people have been picking on her way too much. If you don’t watch it, she’ll leave and she’ll take Alaska with her. Todd is already in a seccesionist party and she’s spoke at their convention. Do you really think we’re going to have to push her that far for her to decide that the maverickest thing to do is just to leave? If we want her to run in 2012, let’s just cut it out right now. Don’t forget she’s the governor of Alaska and the state is already mad about what this country is doing to Ted Stevens. She could take them all with her.
Palin and Pan-Africanism: The press has been so unfair to Palin over this topic. Her views on black liberation have been mocked by the mainstream press when she is far closer to the political theories of W.E.B Du Bois and Marcus Garvey than Barack Obama ever was. Pan-Africanism is the belief first penned by Henry Sylvester Williams that all continental Africa should unite. Most of the African countries were formed by their colonial masters across logical ethnic, tribal, and social barriers displacing families and forming whole colonies based on one export. Palin’s support of radical black causes was naturally mocked by the press as they do with most black radical views in favor of the more politically correct liberalism of people like Barack Obama.
Sarah Palin’s Underwear: The RNC has announced that it will be donating all of the clothing it bought for Sarah Palin to charity including her underwear. While on paper this seems like a great idea, after all who wouldn’t be more likely to give a homeless person a dollar if she was wearing a suit from Neiman Marcus, in reality it is wasteful. A quick search of the internets show that a pair of used underwear sells for $30. I have to think that underwear worn by a vice-presidential candidate would fetch at least $50. In Palin’s case you may get $100. Have her sign them and include a certificate of authenticity and you’re probably talking $250 a crack. Now we’re really talking about giving back to charity.
That’s it for me on Sarah Palin for awhile. If something becomes major news I’m sure I’ll chime in, but I for one don’t want her and Todd leaving so I’m giving them a bit of privacy.
Floridians Sacrifice to Uphold Marriage
Florida resident Jose Canseco can rest easy knowing that the sanctity of his marriage has been protected.
Florida may just be the bravest state in the Union. Last week, Floridians voted more than 60% in favorite of Amenment 2 which stated “Inasmuch as marriage is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized.”
Obviously, this is a wonderful step forward for Florida in protecting the sanctity of marriage regardless of the consequences for single people living in the state. As similiar law passed in Florida has been used to strip heterosexual singles of their rights including alimony, estate planning and domestic partnership registries, but hey Florida has always been willing to sacrifice to make a point.
As the courts begin the process of figuring out if it would undo the benefits that gays and lesbians now have through their employers’ same-sex insurance policies and whether heterosexual couples with domestic-partner agreements would be affected, it is good to know that the will of the voters has spoken instead of 12 unelected judges and I for one can’t think of a better use of our tax dollars. To those single people who have given up their own rights to make sure that gay people didn’t enjoy similar rights I say, “well done”.
Are You There God? It’s Me Nate
Hi God,
It’s me Nate. It’s been a couple of months since we talked. First, I wanted to let you know I love what you did with the Cubs this year. I mean, the whole cellar dweller thing had been done. Letting them think that they may win it this year was a nice twist. I’ve been a little concerned about you lately.
Back in the election, when McCain supporter Rev. Arnold Conrad warned you “here are millions of people around this world praying to their God — whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his [McCain’s] opponent wins for a variety of reasons. And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you would step forward and honor your own name in all that happens between now and Election Day.” Well, I just want you to know that even if Obama won you’re still tops with me. I hope you reallize that. Don’t let what other people say get you down and stand up for yourself as the deity you are. Keep an eye on Sarah Palin and convince her to stay in this country. I think she’s got a real future.
Like a lot of other Christians I was praying against Obama. I wish you still did some of that Old Testament stuff. Boy, would a plague of locusts have shut down an Obama fundraiser. On the other hand, if you were thinking of doing another Katrina on us or something please remember we voted against gay marriage in 3 states. We know that there is no greater affront to your will than when people have sex outside of a commited monogomus marriage except for when homosexuals have sex inside a commited monogomus marriage.
In closing, you’ve got a bunch of us down here worried that the end times are coming. If you don’t mind, just keep us posted. If we have elected the Antichrist please let us know so that we can make sure that he doesn’t get 60 senators on his side. I can’t wait to see what you do to the Cubs next year.
Nate
Three Women Are Our Future
As we rebuild our party into a political force again, I am reminded of the classic television show–Charlie’s Angels. I believe that there are 3 angels that we need to count on to win us the Presidency and take back congress in 2012.
Sarah Palin is The Candidate. She is basically our Jaclyn Smith and not simply because they Ms. Smith has her own line of clothes and Sarah Palin is famous for her fabulous wardrobe. Sarah is our next best chance to win the Presidency and best of all she’s a blank state. Word has come out of the McCain camp that she thinks Africa is a country and we already knew she didn’t really know much about the Constitution. As a result, she’s a blank slate. We’ve got 4 years to fill her with talking points and we don’t have to worry about her having a strong opinion of her own.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is The Journalist. She is our Farah or Cheryl Ladd. She’s not only beautiful, but he’s a hard hitting investigator. Her days on The View are probably numbered, but her abilities as a reporter could be best utilized at Fox News where she could continue to take information from the internets and expose it to the millions of people watching her on television.
Michelle Bachman – A representative from Minnesota who just won reelection. She’s our Kate Jackson. Poor Kate wasn’t quite as pretty as the other angels and well..that’s probably enough said. During the primaries, Michelle called for investigating all members of congress who had unamerican views and I hope she will go ahead and pursue this course. If we can remove just a handful of Democrat Senators for being unamaerican it’ll make the next election in 2010 that much easier.
Obama Seduced Unmarried Women’s Vote
Unmarried women fell prey to the pure animal magnetism of California Representative Henry Waxman.
I noticed this little shocker at Worldnetdaily where you can find a lot just by reading the headlines about what is going on in the world–“Obama’s Chief a Closet Hawk”, “Palin Aide Offers Strong Rebuke to Crititcism”, “An Easy 6 Figure Income for Life”.
It seems that Obama seduced unmarried women into supporting him in this election. Obama won the unmarried women’s vote 70% to 29% while married women only supported Obama 50% to 47%. “If not for the overwhelming support of unmarried women, John McCain would have won the women’s vote and with it, the White House,” said the international research firm Greenberg Quinlan Rosner. I’m not exactly sure how McCain would have won the women’s vote losing both the single and married women’s vote, but I’m not about to argue with a prestigious international firm.
Of course anybody who watched the three Presidential debates noticed Obama’s not so subtle body language designed to lure in unsuspecting females. However, it wasn’t just Obama. Unmarried women also supported Democratic House Candidates 64% to 29% meaning they weren’t just vulnerable to Obama’s charms, but also members of the US House of Representatives. Until these women can keep their emotions in check, perhaps its time we start limiting the vote to only married women.
Why We Lost
Black people like the ones at the polls in Philadelphia can be very intimidating
Now that I have come to terms with the McCain defeat, I think it is important to look at why we lost. Only when we have properly placed the blame for our personal shortcomings can we move on.
1. The Media was unfair – Look how much you heard about the Keating Five scandal that happenned when John McCain was just a freshman senator. Then think about how rarely you heard about William Ayres. Thank goodness for Fox.
2. Voter Intimidation – Fox spent most of Tuesday talking about possible voter intimidation at a polling place in Philadelphia by a poll worker who was also a large black man. I’m sure that if that hadn’t happenned McCain would have won Pennsylvania.
3. 95% of black voters supported Obama as opposed to only 90% who supported John Kerry proving that they only voted for him because he’s black.
4. 46% of white voters supported Obama as opposed to only 41% who supported John Kerry proving that they voted for him because he’s white.
5. Unmarried women supported Obama 70% to 29%. Why aren’t these women married? As has been pointed out on other conservative sites unmarried women by their nature are sinful and seduced by the attractive black man who was running for President. I mean not that I found him attractive or anything. (Thanks to World Net Daily on that one)
6. Obama raised too much money. How are Republicans supposed to compete if big money is allowed to control politics?
7. Election Fraud – As the great Rush Limbaugh pointed out the Democrats nominated a bunch of moderate candidates when they’re really the party of the crazy left wing. It made it very hard to run against them when they would hide theses crazy Democrat ideas because the candidates didn’t actually have them.
8. People don’t like plumbers. They are usually called wen the toilet is backed up and that makes people associate them with waste matter. McCain should have made an electrician or carpenter his focal point. People like carpenters. That’s why God chose one to be his son’s step-father.
9. John McCain was too positive in this campaign and should have attacked Obama more. His middle name was Hussein. We should have made sure people knew that. I don’t think they did.
10. Butterfly Ballots – Bring them back. These new ballots make it harder for people to vote for Republican candidates.
We Will Rebuild It
This afternoon as I was wallowing in self-pity I had a dream or an apparition or a visitation. I’m not really sure what happened, but I was visited by the ghost of Ronald Reagan.
“Whose there”, I said as I wiped the sleep out of my eyes.
“Who do you think? Its Ronald Reagan and its about time you pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and save your party,” he said.
“Gipper?” I asked
“Well its not John Anderson. Its morning in America and you’re in bed,” he told me.
“But..Obama won,” I said sullenly
“Well, yes he did. You know if you locked two boys into rooms filled with horse manure,” he started.
“…Why would you do that,” I interrupted.
“Let me finish,” he said annoyed, “The pessimist would start crying, the optimist would start digging cause he knows there’s a horse in there somewhere.”
“So..I should be an optimist?” I asked
“I always was,” he said offering me a jelly bean.
“Thanks Ronald Reagan,” I said
“No, thank you and brave Americans like you. Together we can build this party into what it once was. I’ll need you to hold those Democrats’ feet to the fire. That’s something only you can do Nate,” he told me.
“Am I going to be visited by 2 more spirits?” I asked
“Now isn’t that just like a liberal to send 3 people to do the job when one person is plenty,” he laughed and then he was gone.
I don’t know what happened, but I’m determined to go with what works for us. I’ve made a 5 point plan we’re going to emphasize over the next 4 years as we rebuild:
1. Referring to people by their job like Joe the Plumber or Mike the Podiatrist.
2. Referring to our opponents by their middle name constantly.
3. Stop pronouncing the letter G.
4. Try to divide the country into Americans and unamericans.
5. Switch strategy every week.
You’ll see–it’ll all be right.
