Archive for the ‘Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day’ Category
What a great day I had this morning celebrating America’s newest holiday Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day! I hope you and yours had a joyous holiday as well.
9:00 Woke up and had 3 soft boiled eggs on white toast with orange juice for breakfast. Went out in my pajamas to get the newspaper.
10:15 Arrived at work late and chewed out my employees for slacking. Demanded that DuJuan an African-American employee play basketball against me at the local park. I didn’t believe him when he told me he wasn’t very good. We played for like 20 minutes of just awful basketball. I let him know that I’d expect more from him next year.
11:30 Went to lunch. I had a tuna melt and 3 martinis. I had a lot of fun hitting on the waitress.
12:40 Arrived back at work and took a nap. I told my employees that they were in charge and left promptly at 2PM
2:15 I listened to some light rock on the car radio as I drove around and watched other people celebrating the holiday. I saw a white police officer had pulled over a black motorist and I honked at them both and gave them the thumbs up sign.
4:00 I arrived at my sister’s place. It was a madhouse. All the kids were running around acting super Catholic. Somebody didn’t get the memo and decided a Saint must mean its yet another religious holiday. I guess too many crazy kids running around and overly religious behavior is stereotypically Irish so maybe in their mixed up way, they celebrated the hobby. Steve started prattling on about something or other with Easter so I was out of there by 4:30.
5:00 Dinner was tuna noodel caserole, but I used my mom’s recipe which has a special secret ingredient–you put crushed up potato chips on top and bake it with the chips right on there. Of course when you eat alone you mostly just scrape off the top layer with the potato chips and put the rest into tupperware until you’re not really sure what it is anymore.
7:30 Cracked open a couple of microbrews and began to write this article. I’m not really sure what this stuff is, but at $7 a bottle you know its good.
Happy Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Eve. As you know, Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day is America’s newest holiday. First created by Lou Dobbs, and promoted by myself and several other bloggers, Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day is a celebration of the ethnic stereotypes that bind us all together. Go on out there and indulge to your heart’s content. I will say between the Pakistani cab drivers, Chinese drivers, and Irish drinkers–tomorrow is probably a good day to stay off the road. As envisioned by the great Loud Dobbs, this day shows us that all Americans who enterred the country have had to deal with stereotypical bullshit as we’ve tried to find our place in this world. Before Mexicans were taking all our jobs, it was Irish, Italians, Germans, Jews, Chinese, and Polish. May you all have a wonderful Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Eve and be sure to toon in tomorrow for a recap of my activities for the day. Do be sure to check out the interview with me at Zenyenta’s site. I think I did a good job explaining WASP culture for the uninitiated. I like opportunities like this to broaden understanding.
I’ve received a number of comments and questions about St. Jing-Tao-Wow Day and I thought I’d answer them all at one place.
What is St. Jing-Tao-Wow Day? Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day is a new American holiday that was created after listenning to Lou Dobbs. The day celebrates the ethnic stereotypes that unite our country and will be celebrated on Tuesday March 31st. To hear Lou Dobbs’ comments on the holiday try this link .
Why ethnic stereotypes? This country has long been under the belief that we are great because we are a melting pot of all the immigrant groups already in this country. However, the next immigrant group whether it be Irish, Italians, Asians, or Mexicans are the ones who will really mess this place up. This attitude has led to a lot of ethnic jokes, slurs, and stereotypes and I think it is good for us to remember exactly what was said about our own people because it reminds us not to be so quick to stereotype other cultures. It is basically an ethnic version of a gay pride parade. I am sure this is what Lou Dobbs meant when he called for a “We’re all the same day”
How can I participate? Like all great holidays, I expect that everybody will come up with their own way to keep it in their heart, but spreading the word will help spread the holiday. If you have a blog mention it. If you post on a forum please mention it there. The only way a holidy can take off is through word of mouth. Join the Facebook event group started by Richard Wang (Thanks!) and check out some of the great posts about the holiday on the internets at Zenyenta 2.0, Just My Little Piece of the World, and Fair.org. Of course there is the Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day video on the Youtubes also. When the day comes, celebrating is as simple as picking an activity that is stereotypical for your ethnic group and doing it whether that means playing basketball, building a submarine with a screen door, or driving poorly. Then come here and post about it.
What kind of food is served for the holiday? Any ethnic food is appropriate, but even more appropriate is Americanized ethnic food like Olive Garden, Panda Express, or Taco Bell.
I don’t have an ethnic group. Can I still participate? Wasp is still an ethnic group you goof. Go oppress some minorities and then dance really poorly.
Does Lou Dobbs know about this? Lou is very busy right now defending our borders, but I’d like to think that if we all believe in Saint Jing-Tao-Wow hard enough, Mr. Dobbs will know.
A famous Chinese philosopher once said, “Chee chung chee chung chee chung. Cho Ching Chung Chee”. An even more famous American philosopher by the name of Lou Dobbs said only Tuesday, “”And by the way, I’ve got to wish to you, each and every one, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! I do that, and I have to be honest with you, despite my fervent anti-ethnic holiday position. That’s right! I’m against St. Patrick’s Day. I’m against St. Columbus Day. Saint Joseph’s Day. I’m against all of those things. Is there, by the way, is there a Jewish, a Jewish ethnic holiday? Is there one? No? Okay. The Jews have disappointed me. I mean, is there a St. Mauritius? No? A Belize? I don’t know. We gotta have — there’s gotta be something else going on here! How about an Asian ethnic holiday? Is there one? You know, a Saint-Jing- Tao- Wow? Chinese New Year? All right, we can do that … I mean, what is with all of these ethnic holidays? I mean how about an American Day? How about were all the same kind of day?”
I was thinking that the 4th of July kind of celebrated Americans as does Thanksgiving, but not really our sameness. It occurred to me that what unites all of us as a country are ethnic stereotypes and the people who have propagated them out of fear that we would mess up the great little country they had here. OK, The Indians may have been right, but otherwise from the 18th Century Germans in Pennsylvania to the Mexicans of today, this melting pot has always been just one more ingredient away from going bad so on March 31st let’s all celebrate the patron saint of ethnic and racial stereotyping Saint Jing-Tao-Wow.
Now, everybody can keep this day in their heart with their own traditions. I think celebrating the efforts of people like Lou Dobbs to keep this country pure is a great start, but let’s not stop there. Let’s really celebrate those stereotypes. I plan on oppressing minorities and then dancing really poorly. If you’re Irish why not polish off a case of beer or have unprotected sex. Germans do something really efficiently and without humor. African-Americans–geez, take your pick. You guys are lucky you get so many. You Swedes, uhm I’ll get back to you.
When you decide how you plan to celebrate Saint Jing-Tao-Wow day proudly post it in the comments section. If you have your own blog and want to advance this holiday then post and we’ll give you some linky love. Remember, we’re doing this for Lou Dobbs. Let’s go out there and celebrate our stereotypes March 31st. Spread the word.
UPDATE: Check out the Saint Jing-Tao-Wow Day Video