That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

Posts Tagged ‘Christmas Letter

The Peele Family Christmas Letter 2009

with 3 comments

It’s been a very busy day for me today.   I took most of the afternoon and evening filling out Christmas cards to the friends and family who are so important to me.   Since as readers of my blog you are all part of my extended family, I thought I’d share this with you as well:

Dear Friend or Family Member,

This Christmas Card feels like it could be the last one I ever send.   Like gun ownership, private health care, and anything that gives me joy, it has a most tenuous existence under the reign of Barrack Obama.  I have to wonder, why does he hate the Baby Jesus so?   I promised Emily that I would not dwell on politics for the entire Christmas letter again this year, but I really fear for our country’s future.

Last year’s red eye and watery puss is thankfully gone.  Unfortunately, this Summer was the Summer of shingles.   It wasn’t as much a rash as a tingling sensation in my legs, but my glands were so swollen I looked like a puffer fish.   I recovered in time to receive an honorary associate’s degree from Sawyer Community College.  This Fall has been much better although I’ve been going through Imodium like candy, due to recurring diarrhea.  I hope that you all have been blessed with great health this year.

Emily finally lost 5 pounds.   She has such a pretty face and I think if she could drop another 15 and get down to 105 or so, she’d be much happier.   At 5’7″ she just shouldn’t be tipping the scales at 120.   She’s adjusting well to the 7th grade and has a crush on Tom Newman.   Since Tom’s family gets this letter, maybe this will bring the two of them together.   I bet if he talked to her about losing weight it would help.   Last year I mentioned that Emily was getting her period and I can confirm that she is definitely growing up.

This hasn’t been a great 2009, but I have huge plans for the future.  In the weeks and months I’ll be calling most of you to tell you all about a fantastic money making opportunity.  I am convinced that in the years to come, the smoothie and juice bar market will be booming.   As a friend of mine or family member, I am able to set you up with your own smoothie and juice bar franchise.   We can have you opened and operational just in time for the Summer.  I’ll tell you more when I call.

The storage business has been great, but I’ve had to hire more security.  The way we’ve thrived in this rough economy is by increasing the amount of stuff we’re selling from customers who fell behind on payments.   Unfortunately, we’ve had a problem with people showing up a few days late and trashing my office when they find out their stuff is gone.   I’m sorry, but 1st of the month is 1st of the month.  The worst is when they get angry about sentimental value.   If I can get $5 for a painting of your parents, hey I’ve got to make a buck too.

I am finally over Kimberly, but it is so hard just to meet a nice professional woman between 21 and 28.  I’d consider an older woman, but you know how woman my age let themselves go.  Its been 8 years since the divorce and I am still a bit bitter about it.  The details are available assuming you kept past Christmas letters, but the only decent thing to come out of my marriage is Emily.  She’s still a straight A student, but it’s time for her to quit experimenting with liberalism.  I blame her school for that the same way I blame her mom for the genes that make her bloat and retain water.

I’ve been trying to keep in touch with the extended family.   Aunt Patty and Walter are doing better since Patty broke her hip in May.   That’s tough for a woman her age and I hope they have some quality of life yet.  If I break a hip at that age, just shoot me (Patty and Walter, I’m sure you have a long and happy life ahead of you).   Larry Peele got out of prison in Summer and unfortunately, was back in by Fall.  I think he’s got a great case for entrapment.   Katie continues to drive the boys crazy, while getting straight A’s and captaining cheerleading.  I wish her and Emily were closer.  I think she could teach Emily a lot  about making  herself more presentable.  Steve and Janet moved out to Texas.   Steve is still a pest on my blog.   I guess in the Christmas spirit we can wish the Catholics a Merry Christmas too.   They’ll have plenty to explain in the afterlife as well Barrack Hussein Obama.

I had to fight with Kimberly over it, but I will have Emily for Christmas Eve.  Then it’s my annual Christmas Day Taxi Driver marathon.  I watched it 6 times last year, but that’s nothing like the 9 times I watched it the year that Kimberly left me.

I hope you and all your families have a Merry Christmas and a terrific 2010!!

Nate Peele

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Written by thatsrightnate

December 10, 2009 at 9:47 pm

The Peele Family Christmas Letter

with 3 comments

I’m sorry I’m so late, but I have been filling out Christmas Cards all day.  I stopped off at the Kinkos to pick up more dust jackets and also get our family Christmas letter which I always send out to friends and relatives to let them know how things have been for the Peeles during the year.    Since it was done in Word, cutting and pasting is easy.

Dear Friend or Family Member:

This has been a trying year for myself and Emily, but I believe we will emerge even stronger for it.  Obviously, the worst part of the year was the election of Barack Hussein Obama as President.   I was watching the election night coverage and it actually induced a panic attack.  Fortunately, Emily found me the next morning and I was able to get medical attention.  I have resigned myself that I need to take things a bit easier in 2009.

In February, I had a serious case of red eye thanks to conjunctivitis.  It wasn’t really painful, but my eye was crusted over every night due to a pussy discharge while sleeping.   It was actually rather watery for puss so  I showed the discharge to several people who all had different opinions.  I finally took it to a specialist and they cured the problem right away.

Emily continues to struggle with her weight.  I’m happy to say that she’s still 125 pounds, but she really needs to lose 20 pounds before high school next year.  I tell her the boys aren’t going to suddenly pay attention to you when all the other girls are skinny.  I guess it shouldn’t be surprising when he mother won’t cook her a decent meal and she winds up eating fast food 4 or 5 nights a week.    While going through her purse in March I found out that Emily is becoming a woman.  I was wondering when that particular aunt would come to pay a visit.  She’s been experimenting with liberalism I’m afraid, but I think that’s just a stage.  When you do talk to her, please encourage Emily to lose weight, but don’t embarrass her or anything.

Business is going really well.  With the economy, a lot of people need temporary storage when they have to move.  At first, I was a bit worried because I got a lot of deadbeats early in the year, but when I started selling their stuff I realized in most cases I make more money by selling their things than I would have if they had paid me on time.  I have had a few problems with deadbeats coming around and looking for their stuff later, but the law is on my side.  One woman was furious when she found out I sold a painting of her parents that I guess had some sentimental value or something.  The funny thing was I think the guy that bought it just wanted the frame  Ha Ha.  If any of you are in need of storage I hope you’ll consider Peele Self-Storage for all your needs.

I am still looking for love.  It seems so hard just to meet a nice professional woman between 21 and 28.  I’d consider an older woman, but you know how woman my age let themselves go.  Its been 7 years since the divorce and I am still a bit bitter about it.  I mean she was the one who was unfaithful.  Check out page 4-7 of last year’s Christmas letter for the details.   The only good thing to come out of that marriage was Emily who got straight “A”s again this year, but unfortunately inherited her mother’s proclivity for water retention and bloating.

I got a book deal through Kinko’s.  Actually it was the manager who approached me about printing dust jackets there.  I have created a dust jacket for a book on the liberal conspiracy threatening our country.  Let me know if you’d like to purchase one.  I’m selling them for $8 a piece.

I’ve been trying to keep in touch with the extended family.   Aunt Patty and Walter seem to be doing well since moving to Florida, though I guess Walter choked on a meatball at dinner in October and a fireman at the next table over had to give him the Heimlich Maneuver after he was turning blue.  Sure enough the meatball flew right out onto his plate.  Thank goodness for good Samaritans.  Larry Peele should be out of prison in Summer.  I actually hate to call it a prison as it really is for white collar criminals. I feel sorry for Larry as he had know way to know that the restaurant was wired. Katie is getting straight A’s in 8th grade and is captain of the cheerleading squad.  The boys are always after her which is keeping my cousin Paul very busy.  She wants to pursue modeling too which I think she’d be a natural for.  I’m thinking that maybe she can help Emily make herself more presentable.  Steve keeps responding to my blog at http://www.thatsrightnate.com.  I know some of you have disowned my sister since she married him, but I guess in the Christmas spirit we can wish the Catholics a Merry Christmas too.   They’ll have plenty to explain in the afterlife.

Its time to wrap things up.  I have Emily for Christmas Eve this year which should be a lot of fun for both of us.  I’m trying to keep her from overindulging in too many sweets over the holidays.  Christmas day I will probably just do what I do every year and watch Taxi Driver on the DVD player.  My record is 9 times on the Christmas after Kimberly left me.  I love that movie.

I hope you and all your families have a Merry Christmas and a terrific 2009!!

Nate Peele

Written by thatsrightnate

December 13, 2008 at 11:03 pm