That’s Right Nate

Thoughts from a right thinker.

Posts Tagged ‘Republican Oath

Republican Pledge is Just What Party Needs

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In an effort to maintain dogmatic purity, GOP leaders have begun circulating a 10 point pledge for Republican candidates to show that they are sufficiently pure to be Republicans.   This pledge will be debated at the party’s January meeting in Honolulu.   I tried to contact friend of the blog Congressman Jack Kimble (R-CA) about the purity pledge, but I was unable to contact him.   In an effort to attract diversity, Republicans only have to agree to 8 of the 10 points.

10. We will pronounce nuclear as nuculer when discussing energy or foreign policy.

9.  Every week, we will attempt to see if I can spot any foreign countries from my back porch.  If I can, I will keep tabs on them.

8.  We will not giggle at important conservative phrases like “Tea Bag” and “Going Rogue”.

7. We will talk non-ironically about our God fearing conservative values established by people like Ayn Rand and Thomas Paine.

6. We will keep government out of health care except in cases like Terri Schiavo, we will keep government out of people’s personal lives unless they are gay, and we will follow the Constitution when it serves my party’s interests.

5. We will not bow to foreign heads of state and in fact shaking hands kind of makes us queasy.

4. We oppose using tax payer dollars to support abortion or unjust wars of aggression.

3. We oppose a government option for health care because a private company cannot possibly compete with a government program.

2. We support the expansion  charter schools because private companies can educate our children better than any public program.

1. We believe that every time Glenn Beck cries, an angel gets his wings.


Written by thatsrightnate

November 23, 2009 at 10:16 pm