Obama Scandal Threatens Nomination

There has been a lot of talk lately about Obama’s current church, but my sources tell me his problems with churches goes back quite a bit longer. Before Barack Hussein Obama became a saint he was a community organizer on Chicago’s South and West Sides in the late 80s.  At that time he worked quite closely with Cleophus James pastor of the Triple Rock Baptist Church.  The Reverend James’ church had a reputation for taking in anybody and there were a number of ex-cons who came to the church.  However, what was unknown at the time was that the church was involved in illegal activities as well.  It seems the Reverend James incited two church members–one with a long criminal rap sheet already to go on a cross city crime spree to fund church activities.  At the least Hussein was ignorant of what was going on right under his nose.  However, several people there at the time describe Obama as being complicit in the sordid affair.

Florida Evans a resident of Altgeld Gardens at the time described Obama as an effective community organizer who swept up her son Micheal in his voter registration drive of the 1990s, but she also recalled, “Revered Cleophus didn’t keep any secrets from Barack.  They were both good men, but what they did was wrong.  A lot of people were crushed when the cops came for Reverend Cleophus, but Barack was just as guilty.”

Former Chicago police officer Carl Winslow described several illegal activities centering around the church, “They called it getting high on Jesus, but that wasn’t all they were getting high on.  They defrauded a wealthy woman named Helen Willis out of several hundred thousand dollars in charity contributions.  If you ask me, they both should have done time.”

Reverend James was not charged with anything due to lack of evidence, but later was arrested for spousal abuse.  He has since died and with him may have gone the one person who knew exactly what went on at the Triple Rock Baptist Church.  Still, Saint Barack’s halo is definitely slipping.