Archive for July 2008
White Male of Distinction #1 – Robert C. Baker
Robert C. Baker 1921-2006
Robert C. Baker is a member of the Poultry Hall of Fame. He is best known as the inventor of the Chickent Nugget. McDonalds is often incorrectly credited with the invention of the nugget, but Baker actually first invented the nugget in the 1950s over 20 years before McDonalds Chicken McNugget.
His academic career brought him to Cornell University where he worked from 1957-1989. He is credited with over 40 poultry, turkey, and cold cut innovations making him the Thomas Edison of poultry. Besides the nugget he also invented turkey ham and turkey dogs.
Robert C. Baker is our white male of distinction for August 1st. “Oh nugget man, oh nugget man heading on down to that old promised land. Happy the meals have been since the day that the nugget man came our way,”
[Editor’s Note: I first learned of the Edison of Poultry from the folk singing duo Paul and Storm. You can see their ballad to the Edison of Poultry Sciences at Youtube.]
Oh No He Di’nt
Well it finally came to this. Barack Obama has played the race card. I’m really not surprised. Throughout my life I’ve dealt with the burden of being a white male. I’m proud of my race and my gender, but there are things I know about being white. We don’t have a lot of rhythym, we’re not sharp dressers, and our contributions to pop culture are often ignored as people look down on musicians like Pat Boone and Barry Manillow.
We do succeed in many areas like business and ice hockey, but now the liberals want to put the stigma of being white on John McCain and I am apalled. Reagan, Washington, Jefferson–our best Presidents have all been white and I don’t think that is a coincidence. We may not be able to fry chicken, or dance, or play basketball, but we are very good politicians. We are tremendous orators and we excel in the art of the deal. Put two white men out on a golf course and there’s a very good chance we’ll get a business deal done.
Because of my disgust with Obama playing the race card I have decided that August will be White Male History Month at That’s Right Nate. I’m going to do a little figure on culturally significant white males who have fallen through the cracks of history because of their race or gender.
Iraq or Afghanistan
The biggest question in American foreign policy is where do we want to keep our forces in order for them to do the most good in the war on terror–Iraq as John McCain believes or Afghanistan where Barack Obama believes we need more troops.
Iraq was not really a hot bed of terror before we invaded, but you can be sure it is now. Things have calmed down a bit in the country and the President is asking us to leave on the same time table that Obama wants. In fact, we have been unable to come to a deal with the Iraqis to protect our troops from Iraqi courts.
Afghanistan under the Taliban was where al-Qaeda trained terrorists like the ones in the 9/11 attack on the World Train Centers. The invasion of Aghanistan was a military success, but the Taliban continues to regroup. The President wants the United States to stay as do most of the people.
That is why the United States needs to focus on Iraq. The very fact that the Afghans want us there should tell us that they really don’t need us anymore. On the other hand, by wanting us out the Iraqis have demonstrated that they have not yet been brought under control. If Iraq was a fully functioning government they wouldn’t care if there were US troops there. Their desire to see us out demonstrates their instability.
McCain clearly understands this. Anybody can send American troops to a country where they’re wanted, but that isn’t the same as sending them to the country where they are most needed. Obama obviously does not understand this, by electing him the American people run the risk of him sending troops only where they are wanted or only into situations where they have a clear objective.
GOP Gets Huge Boost Down Under
If Obama won the European primary then McCain just won Australia! Throughout this election voters have faced a choice between choosing an inexperienced and untested President in Barack Obama and a President who may be suffering from Alzheimers in John McCain. As one of McCain’s biggest supporters I’ve constantly cringed as he’s mistaken Somalia for Sudan, Putin for a German, and Shiites for Sunnis. However, some news from Australia may have just swung the momentum clearly over to McCain’s side.
According to a report in Lancet Neurology, an Australian pharmaceutical company called Prana Biotechnology has developed a drug called PBT2 appears to improve the cognitive functioning of patients like McCain in the early stages of Alzheimers. While it won’t help long term sufferers, it seems to be ideal for somebody in McCain’s circumstance and could remove a lot of the doubts surriounding his leadership.
Patients in the trial took two rounds of exams to assess their cognitive abilities—one at the beginning of the treatment cycle and one after 12 weeks. The tests probed so-called executive function organizational abilities, planning and reasoning. “Executive function” Is there anything better for the leader of the executive branch.
According to the report, “Patients who received 250 mg of PBT2 were able to come up with three more words on the category test then they did before their treatment. Participants who received placeboes, on the other hand, performed worse on average after the 12-week period was up than they did at the outset. The treated population also connected the trails between the circles nearly 50 seconds faster than they did before receiving PBT2. The untreated group also performed more poorly on this task at the end of the trial period.”
This is just the shot in the arm that McCain needed. With the economy continuing to falter and his foreign policy devolving into a copy of Obama’s, McCain has a chance to focus on his experience without getting nailed for his alzheimers. The key for Republicans is make sure we publicize this breakthrough as much as possible regardless of how we feel about socialized medicine or medication developed in a country with socialized medicine.
Raising Kaine is Not a Good Idea
According to my best sources, Barack Obama is expected to name Virginia Governor Tim Kaine as his Vice-President within the next day or two. I find myself disgusted by this latest affront to the American people. You may know that Obama like Kerry before him is the most liberal US Senator. What you may not reallize is that Tim Kaine is the MOST LIBERAL GOVERNOR in the United States.
Why do the Democrats find it so necessary to cozy up with the looney left. Kaine publicly rallied against a defense of marriage Constitutional Amendment in Virginia that would have defined marriage as being between one man and one woman. He also supported vaccinations of 6th grade girls in Virginia with the HPV vaccine and outlawed smoking in government buildings. In short, Kaine is one step from a hard core Marxist-Lenninist.
On top of that Kaine is Catholic. That means that the Pope will be calling the shots when it comes to this country. All Catholics take a vow of obedience to the Pope and that would bind Kaine to do what the Pope tells him. Furthermore, as a Catholic he believes in transubstantiation meaning he actually believes he’s eating the body of Christ at church (Gross!) and he doesn’t believe in Sola Fide which immediately should scare any Christian voter.
The Democrats will present a dream ticket of the most liberal senator and the most liberal governor. They’re running against one of the most moderate Senators in congress in John McCain or he would be had he made 50% of his votes so he could be counted in the tallies. To me this just shows the desperation of the Obama campaign.
McCain’s Latest Ad Shortsighted
John McCain just put out an advertisement today that may be one of the shortest sighted political attacks in recent memory. Keep in mind that this criticism is coming from one of his biggest supporters. In the advertisement he compares Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. What bothers me is he throws two important Republican celebrities under the bus to make an attack at Obama. Ms. Spears and Ms. Hilton will hopefully be the grand dames of our party in 20 or 30 years when McCain himself has passed on and getting them in the same attack as one aimed at Obama is collateral damage we can’t afford.
Britney has always been a very loyal Republican. In the 2004 campaign she famously said, “Honestly, I just think we should trust our President in every decision that he makes and we should just support that and be faithful in what happens.” Throughout the 2004 election, she made it very clear that she was for Bush. Not only does that show courage in a left leaning industry like music, it shows remarkable political clarity for a young person. It is important we embrace Britney as a mother as she could be very valuable in getting our message out about family values and self-reliance.
I am not sure that Paris is a Republican, but with a family worth billions it is a good bet. She made it clear in one Sister Sledge video that she clearly doesn’t support the Homosexual agenda and despite her time in the limelight remains a rolemodel to young girls. She has never been pregnant and can certainly make abstinence education a lot more palatable for a young generation that doesn’t find that message terribly with it. She could be a huge benefit to the Republicans not only in this campaign, but in future ones as well.
Why does John McCain feel the need to attack these women. With so many left wing celebrities couldn’t have have compared Obama to Bruce Springsteen or Beyonce? What about all those rappers like JZ I’m sure they’re probably Obama supporters. There’s a saying in camping, “You don’t crap in your drinking water”. It is true here. Don’t get other Republicans caught up in your attacks on Obama.
Nate Has Found a Woman
For those of you that have been worried about my quest for a 21-28 year old woman, I have recently fallen very hard for somebody closer to my age. Her name sounds like a combination of Ian Flemming and Nathaniel Hawthorne. Her voice is like raindrops on a summer evening and her piercing green eyes can see into a man’s soul at least well enough to know if he’s Department of Justice Material.
I speak to you of course of the lovely Monica Goodling who has been under scrutiny for asking supposedly inappropriate questions of applicants for the Department of Justice. Supposedly, you’re not supposed to ask candidates questions like “What is it about George W. Bush that makes you want to serve him?” and “Tell us about your political philosophy. There are different groups of conservatives, by way of example: Social Conservative, Fiscal Conservative, Law & Order Republican.”
To me, this is just an example of a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. People say that I say inappropriate things all the time. This alone should make us very compatable E-Harmony style.
Monica is also a lover of the finer things in life like when she ordered drapes to conceal the partially nude art deco statues at the Department of Justice. I don’t mind telling you that the Peele Home could use somebody with that kind of decorator’s touch. I have seen her all over the press, but have seen no mention of a family. Now the main question is how to up with Ms. Goodling. Meow.
An Open Letter to Earvin Johnson
Dear Mr. Johnson,
First, allow me to state that I am a big fan of you as a basketball player. I thought you were a classy individual and somebody I wouldn’t have minded having move in next to mean when you were a player. In fact when you contacted aids I was sure that it was not the result of homosexual behavior and I told that to all my friends.
Your class did not end when your playing career ended. You became an entrepeneur and your Magic Johnson Theatres have been raking in the cash while bringing high quality movie entertainment to Urban environments.
I am calling on you to be a role model for the black youth who attend your theatres. Your mom was, I am sure, a God fearing woman. When she named you Earvin that was the name I am sure she expected you to use. I must object to the name Magic in the strongest possible way. I believe that the positive spin your nickname puts on witchcraft could indeed lead the more innocent astray.
I represent a blog with nearly 50,000 readers. I assume that some of them live in urban environments and frequent your theatres. I have announced a boycott of the Magic Johnson Treatres until their name is changed to the Earvin Johnson Theatres. This is no idle threat. We are directly responsible for Hostess removing the wizard from packages of Fruit Pies.
In closing, I am a big fan and I am sure that you will do the right thing. If you would like to discuss this matter further please call me at XXX-XXX-XXX.
Sincerely,
Nate Peele
Malachi 3:5 – And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.
New Poll Shows McCain Landslide
The new AOL Straw Poll shows a unanimous victory for McCain in the 2008 Election. This is a big jump from most polls which have shown Obama with a small edge. The McCain lead can be attributed to his clearer thinking on the economy where he intends to continue Bush’s policies and to his steadfast leadership on the war in Iraq. According to N0Fattchix, an AOL user, “Obama was against the surge and it clearly worked. If it was up to Obama we wouldn’t have even gone into Iraq in the first place.” AOL does not list the margin of error, but it is clear that Obama has a lot of work to do. The “secret muslim” issue and the “9/11 Conspiracy” issues are clearly hurting his campaign and will ultimately do him wrong if he can’t distance himself from those charges.
That's Right Nate 